White People are the Worst

A little something about me.

My history is deeply linked to snobby white people. Like, from way back when. When I was in elementary school, we had one black kid. He was bussed in from another school because...I don't know why. All I remember is that he was better at sports than we were so we picked him first for kickball. His name was Nate, and he was an alright dude.

I spent that epoch of my life in a beach community that had a gate and privatized police force. It was whiter than a John Cusack movie (think about it...I'll give you a sec). My parents used In Living Color to expose me to other cultures, because all the Monty Python was just reinforcing the whiteness that permeated my world.

So when I tell you all this next bit, you need to trust me when I say that I am now officially fed up with honkeys.

I work in a very VERY white town. The Connecticut coastline is peppered with places like this. Big old homes with manicured lawns and stone walls. Fancy cars and expensive grocery stores. Good snow removal. Parks with nets in basketball hoops and without broken swings. All over the Connecticut coastline you can see these places. It's idyllic. It's the suburban dream come true.

And it poisons brains.

A woman came into the bistro in which I work. It's a fancy place in a fancy town, and we get ALL the white people. It's noteworthy when someone of color walks in. To the point where we say "Oh, shit, look! Black guy!"

So when I tell you that this woman is the worst white person I have ever seen, believe that I know what I'm talking about.

We serve frites at my job. We make them ourselves and they are very good. Nothing dumb about them, no weird seasoning or procedure, I'm just really good at my job and I make them right. The woman, seated at the bar (like a common wench) asked the bartender about them as something to snack on while waiting for the rest of her party to show up. He says that they are homemade and very popular, and the following question was asked: "Are they cooked in duck fat?"

Now before I continue, let's get something straight. Duck fat is extremely expensive. It's rich and flavorful, yet, and there is a noticeable difference between food cooked in oil versus food cooked in fat, so the question itself, as a simple inquiry, isn't that bad. However....

The bartender came into the kitchen and asked us if they were, doing his due diligence. Of course they were not, as nobody wants to spend $40 on a handful of french fries, no matter how rich my might be. At this point, a couple of us "wandered" out into the bar area to see what monster would ask such a stupid question. Upon hearing this totally normal and logical answer she scoffs, "Oh, never mind then, I'll just wait." She rolled her eyes, turned her head and thrust more clear alcohol down her stuffy gullet.

I went back to the kitchen, went back to my work, and shook my head is awe of this ridiculous moment. But I couldn't keep my mouth shut. Oh, God no.

"FUCKING WHITE PEOPLE!!" I bellowed. I heard the bartender laugh, and the guys standing next to me looked over.

"Just wait until Summer, dude," one said.
"Goddammit," I responded.

I know a lot about white people. And they continue to piss me off.

SD