Daytime Pizza

Now that I'm back among the ranks of the unemployed and scarcely washed, I have fallen back into the routine of job hunting and boredom that I was encased in a few weeks back. Occasionally, however, something comes along that brings something interesting into my days.

Today it was pizza. Pizza itself isn't all that uncommon or special. Yes, a good pizza is to be cherished and devoured as if you were a Somalian shark, but for the most part, pizza is just pizza. Until the game gets changed. Pizza is such a standard palette that not much changes in the pizzaverse. Ever. Yeah, sure, some shitty delivery companies might stuff a crust with something you can't taste, or they might offer some sort of bullshit cheesy bread variety, but everyone, even the good places, do that.

For most pizza joints, their quality depends on the crust and the quality of the ingredients atop said crust. Everyone has a favorite place, and I am not writing to espouse the benefits of one over the other. This is about a pizza experience that blew my mind. And it came from an unlikely source.

Chain pizza restaurants have always been the innovators, when innovation has become necessary, from the stuffing of crust to the dipping sauces for unstuffed and boring crusts, to square pizzas, to whatever else you can imagine. Papa John's, a comparatively terrible pizza company for Connecticut, did something I had never thought of. The Chili Frito's Pizza.

Okay, so instead of sauce, they use chili (brilliant) and top it with cheddar instead of mozzarella (understandable with the involvement of chili) the beef, tomatoes, and onions. Then they cook the pizza, and after all of that, once the thing has been cut and boxed, they toss on there a SHIT LOAD of Frito's. WHAT? Putting chips on pizza is a fat guy snack sent from the Gods. Game changer.

What fat stoned slacker in the Papa John's test kitchen thought of this madness? And where can I send him a certificate of achievement? Now that this gap has been bridged, the possibilities are fucking endless. This is a Pandora's Box of gastrointestinal experimentation. What combinations are next? I, for one, am willing to take this as far as it has to go in order to find the bottom of the pit of fatness. Do you stay on the corn chip ship, or do you branch off into potato chips, or some of those bonkers health food kale chip abominations you see at co-ops? I mean, eventually you are going to run out of corn chip flavors and have to go to something else, right? Maybe just see what works slice by slice? Go out and get a bunch of chips and order a pizza, then go to town slice by slice, seeing what works the best.

My mind is ablaze with possibilities. I need a nap.

SD