On Crutches

7 things about crutches.
1) They are a burden.  You can't do anything with them, yet you can't do anything without them.  They are like small children, because if you just get rid of them, you are pretty well fucked for a long time.
2) Stairs are an enemy.  It is really hard to go up and down stairs.  But unlike the Russians in Winter, this is an enemy that can be defeated.  A little practice and repetition has allowed me to get pretty good at traversing stairs with the pegs.
3) Doors are a more challenging enemy. It's true.  Getting through a door without help can be a bit of a pain in the sack.  Doors that are heavy or are the entrance to a public place are the most difficult, as they are designed to stay closed and keep any heat in (or out), so they just close on you as you are trying to manipulate your way across the threshold.  You have to use one of the crutches, or an elbow, or your ass, to prop the door open and amble through. 
4) Crutches are a hell of a workout.  Shoulders, triceps, upper back, hands, forearms, cardio.  All of the above.  I was able to be out on the town on Saturday, and I was whooped after a while.  I realize that moving on crutches is a really good workout.  Obviously, I can't go to the gym for a while with the knee all messed up, but going around the block on crutches might be a good substitute.  Something to ponder, I suppose.
5) They chafe.  As I was out and about, I started to feel something chafey on the side of my body.  When I got home, I looked at my side in the mirror and saw a raw patch where the rubber top part contacted my body.  That sucks.
6) They are good prop.  Seriously, they can help you get the attention of someone five feet away, or play tollbooth with a child or drunken adult.  They can be used to rest upon, a mobile leaning tree, as it were. 
7) SYMPATHY SYMPATHY SYMPATHY!!! Yup.  Don't be jealous, just accept.

SD