Seriously. My job is ending. After 7 years of working at Mangetout, doing literally everything there is to do in a cafe, We are closing our doors. Kinda. The business is reorganizing to be a catering/bakery/wholesale concern where the dining room, my domain, is no longer part of the day to day operation of the business. This is fine. The cafe side of things has run its course and we determined that it is no longer economically viable to keep it running as is. Therefore, the decision has been made to change everything up and go a different direction.
I'm pretty okay with this. I think I was getting burned out with the same shit day in and day out and needed a change of pace. So Friday is going to be my last day of work, and the last day that Mangetout will be an actual cafe.
So I need a new job.
The problem is that I have a gimpy leg right now, so finding a new job might be a little difficult at the moment. Luckily, I can collect unemployment benefits for a bit and have at least a minimal amount of money coming in. And I have a bit saved up, so I won't be completely shit out of luck right off the bat. Another problem is that I have little to no tangible skills. I have prospects, but they are way off in the future, and I will probably get into those somewhere down the line, just not today.
My lack of work has been a huge source of anxiety for me. I have never really been in this position before. Granted, I am looking forward to being able to collect for a while and relax. It will allot me an opportunity to focus on my brewery project and some other things that I have going on in my life. Things you fuckers aren't going to read about. At least not yet.
I feel like I am swimming a bit. My knee issue couldn't have come at a worse possible time, and with the uncertainty of my direct future, I feel as though I am getting lost in my own head and losing control over my life. I do not like this feeling. I am in the water, without land in sight, looking only at the sky for direction and blindly going East in hopes of solid ground.
So much in my life is nebulous. So much is out of my control. So much is to be determined by outside forces. So much is left unto others that I can't grasp the potential positives right now. Not nearly enough is in my own hands. All of this is scary, and all of this gives me stress.
They (whoever the fuck they are) say that your dream job is something that you would do for free if you had the opportunity to. Well, I'm pretty sure nobody is going to pay me to sit around in lazy pants, drink copious amounts of beer, eat pizza, and scream at football games on my TV for eight hours a day. And nobody is going to pay me to sleep in and aimlessly watch Netflix all day. Well, maybe that second option, but that's stretching it pretty far.
So I thought about the things that I wanted to do when I grew up and where those goals got derailed. Here's that list:
-Quarterback for the New York Giants
I have little to no athletic ability and I have never played organized football.
-Shortstop for the New York Yankees (I'm a NY sports guy, fuck off)
Again, I have little to no athletic ability and Derek Jeter showed up, so whatever baseball I did is null.
-Spaceman
Not astronaut, more like Spaceman Spiff. But I am still scared of space camp and math, so fuck that.
-Fireman
Nope. Fire is cool.
-Teacher
Turns out I could have done this, but I don't much care for youths, so fuck that, too.
-Sportswriter/broadcaster
I have actually done this, and it was awesome. I was just too young and stupid to follow up seriously.
-Cartoon Voice Guy
I have no idea why I wanted to do this, probably too many Looney Toons. Still might be cool, though.
And that's about it. I'm sure there were more along the way, but I can't remember them at this point. Nowadays, All I want to do is open my brewery and get a life going with that. It's not out of the realm of possibility, and there are strides being made to make this happen.
I hope it does. So so badly.
SD
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