The sticky strips that they put on you after stitches come out have finally come off. They just kinda lose their tacky quality and come off over time. In doing so, they slowly reveal the scarring from surgery and let you see what your permanent reminder is going to look like. Mine are very similar to the scars that Frankenstein's monster had on his forehead. Of course, mine are on my knee and leg, but they look the same. A line about two inches long runs straight down and on each side are 4 smaller horizontal lines. They are evenly spaced and all the same size. The symmetry is nice. I won't have to look at a lopsided mess on my leg skin for the rest of my life. The scope holes are also healed up, and they are smaller versions of the large incision scar. Apparently rubbing vitamin E on the scars will make them less obvious, but they aren't that huge to begin with, and most of the year I wear pants. I live in New England and the only time that shorts are useful as a clothing option are the summer and when you have a big ass brace that pants have trouble overcoming in a comfortable way.
I don't mind the scars, I knew they were going to be there and I knew they were going to be drastic. I am happy that they are even and normal looking. Now, it seems as though NBA players are trying to be like me and get ACL surgery. NBA Most Valuable Player Derrick Rose blew out his knee, and Knicks guard Iman Shumpert did the same thing. Shumpert's injury looked a lot like mine. It was a cutting/stopping injury accident, where Rose's was a landing awkward type injury. That sucks for both players and their teams, especially for the Bulls, as Rose was their best player. On the bright side for da Bulls, he has been suffering from lingering injuries and knicks for a part of the season, and so the team is used to playing without him. Pundits are talking about conditioning and the style of play for Rose, but conditioning and strength has nothing to do with it. The injury is usually the result of an accident, and unless you have cinder blocks for quads, you are going to injure the ACL if you bend the knee incorrectly. The only real protection is a stability brace, but no NBA player is going to want to have the same apparatus that an NFL lineman wears. Basketball has a different athletic skill set than a lot of sports, and quick cutting, stopping and agility is a major part of that. ACL and ankle injuries are going to happen. A lot. The nature of the game and the speed at which it is played almost provokes knees and ankles to break down and fall apart. But those are the inherent risks of the game. Trust me. I found out the hard way.
SD
Monday, April 30, 2012
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Back to work
During my physical therapy session today, I inquired to the point of going back to work. I was given the news that while my job entails standing for extended periods of time, I can go back to work, so long as I don't stand for extended periods of time. Essentially, I can go back for about 3 hours standing up and more time sitting down, if possible. So I can work my way back into work. A few hours a day, a few days a week. I can manage that. It will give me a reason to wake up before 10 every day, that's for sure. It is also a return of income to my life. I haven't been able to get any sort of work in since surgery, and even then, it was minimal at best. But it has been 4 weeks since the operation, so that is 4 weeks with $0 coming in. Luckily, I don't spend that much and had enough saved to cover bills and such in the mean time, but replenishing the dwindling reserves of my account is going to be nice, even if that process is painfully slow.
The other thing that going back to work is going to do is fill my day. I will be able to make a schedule that doesn't revolve around the self indulgent rambling of this here blog or facebook posts. Sooner or later, these were going to have to slow down. I can't keep writing 1000 words every day, there is only so much to report when your life has nothing to report about. Creative energy is a renewable resource, but sometimes it takes a while to renew it. So I guess I get to have something to write about. But if nothing interesting happens, then the status quo will continue. Boringly.
Luckily I have gotten the opportunity to write for The Scope. I have been tapped to create silly, and totally fake, articles about whatever I want as well as more serious essays aimed at the world of sports. Do I know how to do this? Probably not, but I know that I can write pretty well, so why not give it a shot. I like doing these things, and there is some momentum building with the project as a whole, so I feel as though I am part of a thing. Small though this thing may be, it remains a thing. It remains a thing for me to do. Something to fill my time when I am bored. Something to get my brain moving is a direction, to focus on a story, or a topic, or myself.
I guess that the main story here is that my days are filling up again. Getting back into the beer world is going to be fun. Doing that tonight. Getting together with the rest of Creature Brewing Co. is going to be good. I want to get back on that horsey and make some booze. I need to get going again and get back to my life. Slowly but surely, bit by bit, that is happening, and that is something that I feel good about. Finally starting to get less cynical.
You're welcome.
SD
The other thing that going back to work is going to do is fill my day. I will be able to make a schedule that doesn't revolve around the self indulgent rambling of this here blog or facebook posts. Sooner or later, these were going to have to slow down. I can't keep writing 1000 words every day, there is only so much to report when your life has nothing to report about. Creative energy is a renewable resource, but sometimes it takes a while to renew it. So I guess I get to have something to write about. But if nothing interesting happens, then the status quo will continue. Boringly.
Luckily I have gotten the opportunity to write for The Scope. I have been tapped to create silly, and totally fake, articles about whatever I want as well as more serious essays aimed at the world of sports. Do I know how to do this? Probably not, but I know that I can write pretty well, so why not give it a shot. I like doing these things, and there is some momentum building with the project as a whole, so I feel as though I am part of a thing. Small though this thing may be, it remains a thing. It remains a thing for me to do. Something to fill my time when I am bored. Something to get my brain moving is a direction, to focus on a story, or a topic, or myself.
I guess that the main story here is that my days are filling up again. Getting back into the beer world is going to be fun. Doing that tonight. Getting together with the rest of Creature Brewing Co. is going to be good. I want to get back on that horsey and make some booze. I need to get going again and get back to my life. Slowly but surely, bit by bit, that is happening, and that is something that I feel good about. Finally starting to get less cynical.
You're welcome.
SD
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Crutches be damned
Ha! I don't have to use the crutches anymore. I get to walk about like a person. With a limp. Actually, my mobility is closer to shuffling than walking at this point, but the fact of the matter is that I can ambulate without the use of aluminum aides. The amount of apparatus that I have to use in order to get around is dwindling, and dwindling rather quickly, for that matter. I still have to use the big bulky brace, but I expected that. I'm okay with that as well. I don't see the problem with scuffling around town in a brace, I see a problem with not being able to move about at all. I don't have that problem anymore.
When I will be able to drive, I still don't know. It is going to be a couple of weeks before I can move without the brace on as well. But, I can get about without it on in my apartment, so long as I use one crutch as a balancing aide. In that respect, I still technically need at least one crutch, but at the same time, that is one less than I needed before, and I only need it when I don't have the brace on. That means that, in the morning, when I have special bathroom time, I need to use the crutch to help me get to the shower and whatnot, but if I have the brace on, I no longer need the crutches. I want to take advantage of this situation, but I fear that I am going to push it too much and wear myself out. It's not like I can move fast with just the brace, like I said before, I shuffle around. I hobble like one of my legs is longer than the other, and I still have trouble with stairs. But progress is being made, so why dwell on the less-than parts.
I have been going out around town. Running errands during the day and going out on the weekends. I guess if I can manage that, I can get about without too much trouble. I want to get back to a normal life. Getting back to work is going to be a milestone. Not only will that mean that I have some income flowing in, but it will give me something to do during the day, which is important. I don't like being bored, and getting back to work will help to alleviate some of that strife. Hopefully by next week I can get back in there. We'll see where my strength and progress gets me by that point and go from there. I don't think I will be able to get in there full time or anything, but a few hours when it is quiet each day is a good start. I just need some money coming it. I feel like all I do is spend. Rent, bills, and now medical bills are sapping not only my bank account but also my good mood. When I get a new bill in the mail, from whatever crazy ass thing I had to go through, I get a little more frustrated. I shake my head and roll my eyes, take a deep breath and fill out a form with credit card info that goes off to somewhere that gladly takes the money that I need for whatever I might need it for.
I was going to spend that money on a shiny suit. Not anymore. Dammit.
SD
When I will be able to drive, I still don't know. It is going to be a couple of weeks before I can move without the brace on as well. But, I can get about without it on in my apartment, so long as I use one crutch as a balancing aide. In that respect, I still technically need at least one crutch, but at the same time, that is one less than I needed before, and I only need it when I don't have the brace on. That means that, in the morning, when I have special bathroom time, I need to use the crutch to help me get to the shower and whatnot, but if I have the brace on, I no longer need the crutches. I want to take advantage of this situation, but I fear that I am going to push it too much and wear myself out. It's not like I can move fast with just the brace, like I said before, I shuffle around. I hobble like one of my legs is longer than the other, and I still have trouble with stairs. But progress is being made, so why dwell on the less-than parts.
I have been going out around town. Running errands during the day and going out on the weekends. I guess if I can manage that, I can get about without too much trouble. I want to get back to a normal life. Getting back to work is going to be a milestone. Not only will that mean that I have some income flowing in, but it will give me something to do during the day, which is important. I don't like being bored, and getting back to work will help to alleviate some of that strife. Hopefully by next week I can get back in there. We'll see where my strength and progress gets me by that point and go from there. I don't think I will be able to get in there full time or anything, but a few hours when it is quiet each day is a good start. I just need some money coming it. I feel like all I do is spend. Rent, bills, and now medical bills are sapping not only my bank account but also my good mood. When I get a new bill in the mail, from whatever crazy ass thing I had to go through, I get a little more frustrated. I shake my head and roll my eyes, take a deep breath and fill out a form with credit card info that goes off to somewhere that gladly takes the money that I need for whatever I might need it for.
I was going to spend that money on a shiny suit. Not anymore. Dammit.
SD
Monday, April 23, 2012
Same Shit
No status update on the leg, every day is a little better than the day before. Fine.
During this whole process, I have been watching way more television that I rightfully should. Unhealthy amounts. To the point where I know what time Sportscenter ends every day (its 3pm, for the record). I have gotten to hate commercials, though. Like, a lot. Certain ones in particular. Anything done by Subway can BURN IN THE ETERNAL FIRES OF HELL. Fuck those things. Advertisements are supposed to entice people to buy the product, right? Not repulse a normal-ish person to the point where arson seems like a viable option.
Car ads are pissing me off. Local ones have always sucked, so that is no big dead. Of course, there is the Bob's Dodge of Milford ads, which are so creepily hilarious that I can't stay mad at them. The tag line, "He just want's to get you a loan," is repeated by every family member the guy has, including small, smiling children and a supremely uncomfortable wife who's mouth is saying words that underscore the impending danger her eyes are hinting at. Truly incredible.
The national ones are getting more and more annoying. From kids in a Honda minivan a Capella singing "Crazy Train" badly to truly horrible asswipey people smiling too much as they play a cocaine and ecstasy fueled version of the Life board game with Prius' instead of normal game pieces. Music for commercials has become boring as well. Everyone seems to be using the same Black Keys song, which is fine, I guess, because that band is great. But they have like 400 albums out, so there has got to be at least ONE other song that can properly hawk your financial planning firm or commemorative stamps.
I have begun to notice the same actors in several ads. I guess that's fine, but it shows the dearth of creativity and quality acting that has permeated the American arts over the last few years. This isn't that big of a deal, in the long run, but they are repeating commercials from years ago now, and the same knob wranglers that were in those ads are in current ones too. For competing companies.
Even the Super Bowl ads this year were lacking. That is supposed to be where the best of the best come out to play. Best game. Best ads. NOPE! The game was awesome, but if I have to see the fucking E-Trade Baby one more time, I am going to lose my shit. I hate that kid. He should be like 14 by now, stop running those ads. They aren't funny. They are no longer clever. The course has been run. Move on. Goddamit.
I know that this doesn't seem like much, but when the things that you do during the day are limited, this stuff piles up. I try to watch shows that are better for my brain. They only exist on Netflix. History Channel? Really? There is nothing historical about pawn shops or or sticking your hand in a fish. Their programming is dreadful. I tried the National Geographic Channel. NOPE! They have fallen into the fishing show trap that Deadliest Catch and the Whale one started. I really don't care about some illiterate fishing for tuna. No dice there. Other than fish shows, NatGeo (their word, not mine) has a line up of programs about prisons. Is that what people want. I know nobody reads magazines anymore, but National Geographic used to be a haven for thought and intellectual stories about interesting things. Ancient Egypt, exploration of wilderness, new technology, outer space, these were the domains of National Geographic. That was the place where you learned about nomadic tribes and old school wars and stabbing gear. Their television channel lets you learn about crazy people who are saving cans for when the zombies come. Idiots.
SD
During this whole process, I have been watching way more television that I rightfully should. Unhealthy amounts. To the point where I know what time Sportscenter ends every day (its 3pm, for the record). I have gotten to hate commercials, though. Like, a lot. Certain ones in particular. Anything done by Subway can BURN IN THE ETERNAL FIRES OF HELL. Fuck those things. Advertisements are supposed to entice people to buy the product, right? Not repulse a normal-ish person to the point where arson seems like a viable option.
Car ads are pissing me off. Local ones have always sucked, so that is no big dead. Of course, there is the Bob's Dodge of Milford ads, which are so creepily hilarious that I can't stay mad at them. The tag line, "He just want's to get you a loan," is repeated by every family member the guy has, including small, smiling children and a supremely uncomfortable wife who's mouth is saying words that underscore the impending danger her eyes are hinting at. Truly incredible.
The national ones are getting more and more annoying. From kids in a Honda minivan a Capella singing "Crazy Train" badly to truly horrible asswipey people smiling too much as they play a cocaine and ecstasy fueled version of the Life board game with Prius' instead of normal game pieces. Music for commercials has become boring as well. Everyone seems to be using the same Black Keys song, which is fine, I guess, because that band is great. But they have like 400 albums out, so there has got to be at least ONE other song that can properly hawk your financial planning firm or commemorative stamps.
I have begun to notice the same actors in several ads. I guess that's fine, but it shows the dearth of creativity and quality acting that has permeated the American arts over the last few years. This isn't that big of a deal, in the long run, but they are repeating commercials from years ago now, and the same knob wranglers that were in those ads are in current ones too. For competing companies.
Even the Super Bowl ads this year were lacking. That is supposed to be where the best of the best come out to play. Best game. Best ads. NOPE! The game was awesome, but if I have to see the fucking E-Trade Baby one more time, I am going to lose my shit. I hate that kid. He should be like 14 by now, stop running those ads. They aren't funny. They are no longer clever. The course has been run. Move on. Goddamit.
I know that this doesn't seem like much, but when the things that you do during the day are limited, this stuff piles up. I try to watch shows that are better for my brain. They only exist on Netflix. History Channel? Really? There is nothing historical about pawn shops or or sticking your hand in a fish. Their programming is dreadful. I tried the National Geographic Channel. NOPE! They have fallen into the fishing show trap that Deadliest Catch and the Whale one started. I really don't care about some illiterate fishing for tuna. No dice there. Other than fish shows, NatGeo (their word, not mine) has a line up of programs about prisons. Is that what people want. I know nobody reads magazines anymore, but National Geographic used to be a haven for thought and intellectual stories about interesting things. Ancient Egypt, exploration of wilderness, new technology, outer space, these were the domains of National Geographic. That was the place where you learned about nomadic tribes and old school wars and stabbing gear. Their television channel lets you learn about crazy people who are saving cans for when the zombies come. Idiots.
SD
Friday, April 20, 2012
So far so good
One crutch? Check. My physical therapist has me only on one crutch again. Full time. Just like it was before surgery, I keep the crutch on the left side that moves along with the right leg. Sound confusing, but it isn't. This frees up an arm to do stuff and hold things, giving my more functional mobility than I had even a week ago. I could try the one crutch before, but my leg wasn't strong enough to handle the weight and movement or steady enough to balance. The exercises that I have to do everyday for "homework" are working quite well, so I get stronger. Now I have more tasks to complete during each homework session. Balancing, lunges, and the previous exercises are added along with the use of an elastic band tied around something sturdy. Once secured, the band provides resistance as I pull and raise my leg left to right and backwards to forwards. I use the weight of the leg against me to make it stronger and give it more stamina.
The lack of energy in my leg is still bothering me. It just seems that the workouts that I am doing, especially on therapy days, are sapping my leg of everything. I guess that is good, though, as it means that the workouts are working. I can't take days off though, because I have to keep a schedule. No matter how much I want to relax, these workouts only take 20 minutes so they aren't that bad. Stretching, lifting, isolating the quad muscles, and all the rest of it. Two weeks ago I could barely lift my leg enough to move it from point a to point be. Now I can stand freely.
I was able to walk without crutches at all at the therapist's yesterday. Not a lot, and certainly not with any kind of real pace, but still, I can move without the crutches. I was told that I can do that in small doses around my apartment however if I want to go outside, I still need the assistance. I'm cool with that. I should be off of the last crutch within the next week or so, and then another week or two with the brace by itself. At that point, I have another appointment with my orthopedist and I should be given some other kind of smaller brace. But the big news from that should be, if my timeline is correct, is the ability to start driving around again. They fear that my leg just isn't strong enough to mash down the brake pedal if I have to stop quickly. I understand this. The shitty thing that I have had this car for less than 6 months. When I get back to being strong enough to drive, I'm taking a trip. I don't care where, all I know is that I am driving there.
SD
The lack of energy in my leg is still bothering me. It just seems that the workouts that I am doing, especially on therapy days, are sapping my leg of everything. I guess that is good, though, as it means that the workouts are working. I can't take days off though, because I have to keep a schedule. No matter how much I want to relax, these workouts only take 20 minutes so they aren't that bad. Stretching, lifting, isolating the quad muscles, and all the rest of it. Two weeks ago I could barely lift my leg enough to move it from point a to point be. Now I can stand freely.
I was able to walk without crutches at all at the therapist's yesterday. Not a lot, and certainly not with any kind of real pace, but still, I can move without the crutches. I was told that I can do that in small doses around my apartment however if I want to go outside, I still need the assistance. I'm cool with that. I should be off of the last crutch within the next week or so, and then another week or two with the brace by itself. At that point, I have another appointment with my orthopedist and I should be given some other kind of smaller brace. But the big news from that should be, if my timeline is correct, is the ability to start driving around again. They fear that my leg just isn't strong enough to mash down the brake pedal if I have to stop quickly. I understand this. The shitty thing that I have had this car for less than 6 months. When I get back to being strong enough to drive, I'm taking a trip. I don't care where, all I know is that I am driving there.
SD
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Floor Space.
I have more floor space. The company that provided the cooling cuff took it back today. I was only renting it, so I knew it was going to go. I'm glad that it is gone. Between the machine itself, the cuff, the tubes that connected the machine to the cuff, and the thick ass power cord, that thing took up WAY more room than it rightfully should. Every time that I had to be near my bed, or wheel my chair anywhere, or use my crutches in the general vicinity of the machine, I had to be wary of the bulky apparatus and the dangers that it presents. Tripping over the cord or the tubes would have been tragic. Like really really bad. Don't have to worry about that anymore though, as the rat bastard thing is gone.
When they came to pick it up they asked me if it worked. How the hell am I supposed to know? It's not like I have every gone through this process without it. I guess it worked, it was on for long enough. Long enough where I think it must have done something good. If it didn't, that would have been a huge waste of $200. I could use that extra cash right now. I got the bill.
Yeah. Anyone got an extra $19,558 laying around? Can I have it? No? Bueller....Bueller? Damn. Seriously? Nobody I know is independently wealthy enough to be a benefactor? Nobody wants to do something so absurdly generous they are guaranteed a spot in heaven, no matter how much other bad shit they might have done? Your loss. Luckily for me I make so little money that I am eligible for most financial aid packages the hospital has to offer. And even if I can't get the whole thing written off, which is a distinct possibility, they are pretty good about making both parties happy with installment payments.
It'll be fun to get that done.
On a side note-A hearty high five to Matt Covey for being written up in Modern Drummer Magazine. That shit is SWEET!
SD
When they came to pick it up they asked me if it worked. How the hell am I supposed to know? It's not like I have every gone through this process without it. I guess it worked, it was on for long enough. Long enough where I think it must have done something good. If it didn't, that would have been a huge waste of $200. I could use that extra cash right now. I got the bill.
Yeah. Anyone got an extra $19,558 laying around? Can I have it? No? Bueller....Bueller? Damn. Seriously? Nobody I know is independently wealthy enough to be a benefactor? Nobody wants to do something so absurdly generous they are guaranteed a spot in heaven, no matter how much other bad shit they might have done? Your loss. Luckily for me I make so little money that I am eligible for most financial aid packages the hospital has to offer. And even if I can't get the whole thing written off, which is a distinct possibility, they are pretty good about making both parties happy with installment payments.
It'll be fun to get that done.
On a side note-A hearty high five to Matt Covey for being written up in Modern Drummer Magazine. That shit is SWEET!
SD
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Suck it, other crutch
I'm down to one again. Kinda. I can move around my apartment with just the one, on the left side, using it in congress with my bum leg. I have to keep my big ass brace on the entire time while moving like this, but that is a small price to pay for the freedom of one of my hands. I no longer have to scoot in my wheelie chair if I want to get anything. Nowadays, I can put a decent amount of pressure on the leg and move about with more freedom, which is a boon to my ego.
The other progress is with stairs. I have been given a new method for going up and down stairs. Granted, the efficiency of this is not great, and it won't be until I am out of all apparatus and can move about freely. The progress is that I don't have to launch myself up each stair. In the before time, I had to use each crutch as a springboard and lift myself up to the next stair, placing my good leg down as a support and pulling ole deadfoot along after.
All of this goodness has to be tempered if I want to do anything outside of my apartment. I can go anywhere I can walk to. Still not allowed to drive. But I can fit in the front now and walk about, so long as I have the energy. My leg is weak, and I need to use both crutches to move around town. Only a couple more weeks with them though, and therefore, only a couple of more weeks before I can drive again. I tried to go around town last weekend, but couldn't make it too long. I was up and about a lot during the day, so I think that I just don't have the stamina to go too crazy. The brace is heavy, and I think that takes a lot out of me as well.
Everyday, despite the weight of the brace and the lack of pure strength that I had before, I am getting more and more confident in my ability to be functional. I have to be cautious though. Going too hard too fast is a bad idea, so I have to take it easy. Knowing this is part of my recovery, and recovery is my entire existence right now, so I have to pay attention to that more than anything else. As long as I don't lose my mind, I think everything will work out.
Slowly but surely, I'm getting closer to living normally. This means getting back to work and a routine that doesn't seem forced. I try to get up in the morning and take care of myself. This includes taking showers, now. The best part is the shower. I got to do that today for the first time since my surgery. Felt great. I didn't realize how much I missed being clean. Sponge bathing in a sink lacks the tangible feeling of cleanliness that taking a shower has.
I should take a vacation.
SD
The other progress is with stairs. I have been given a new method for going up and down stairs. Granted, the efficiency of this is not great, and it won't be until I am out of all apparatus and can move about freely. The progress is that I don't have to launch myself up each stair. In the before time, I had to use each crutch as a springboard and lift myself up to the next stair, placing my good leg down as a support and pulling ole deadfoot along after.
All of this goodness has to be tempered if I want to do anything outside of my apartment. I can go anywhere I can walk to. Still not allowed to drive. But I can fit in the front now and walk about, so long as I have the energy. My leg is weak, and I need to use both crutches to move around town. Only a couple more weeks with them though, and therefore, only a couple of more weeks before I can drive again. I tried to go around town last weekend, but couldn't make it too long. I was up and about a lot during the day, so I think that I just don't have the stamina to go too crazy. The brace is heavy, and I think that takes a lot out of me as well.
Everyday, despite the weight of the brace and the lack of pure strength that I had before, I am getting more and more confident in my ability to be functional. I have to be cautious though. Going too hard too fast is a bad idea, so I have to take it easy. Knowing this is part of my recovery, and recovery is my entire existence right now, so I have to pay attention to that more than anything else. As long as I don't lose my mind, I think everything will work out.
Slowly but surely, I'm getting closer to living normally. This means getting back to work and a routine that doesn't seem forced. I try to get up in the morning and take care of myself. This includes taking showers, now. The best part is the shower. I got to do that today for the first time since my surgery. Felt great. I didn't realize how much I missed being clean. Sponge bathing in a sink lacks the tangible feeling of cleanliness that taking a shower has.
I should take a vacation.
SD
Monday, April 16, 2012
The next benchmark
The small things matter. Today I got my stitches out. A small step, but an important one, nonetheless. I get to live without a wrapping on my leg, just some sticky strips, not bandages, more like thin strips of tape, to keep the place where the stitches were intact. The one thing that I wanted more than anything else after this visit to the doc was to take a damn shower. The things I want don't come that easy though. I still have to clean myself in a sink. This should be easy, taking a shower. Alas, I cannot have this thing, not yet anyway. Tuesday morning is D-Day for true cleansing. Only 24 hours later, but still. I haven't had the ability, per doctor's orders, to stand under a torrent of clean water since I got out of surgery. In March.
I guess the important part is that the wound is healing well enough to take out the knots holding it together. Everything seems in order. The doc was happy with the progress that I and my physical therapist have made. Swelling is still pronounced but not horrible. I knew that was going to be the case anyway. 6 weeks out of surgery I can expect my leg to look normal again, which would be the middle of May.
The unlocked brace that I have allows me to walk with a bit more normalcy. I can bend my leg to the point where I can sit in the front seat of a car. Before this, I had to slide into the back and rest my locked leg along the length of the back seat. Nowadays I can ride in a car like a human, which is nice. Soon I will be able to drive, hopefully within the next couple of weeks, and get back to work.
Doing normal things, like getting back to work is what I look forward to the most. I like feeling like I am retired, but I get bored. What is there to do when you don't want to do anything? How do you fill the days? Thanks Netflix. I need income, as I have none now since the injury. Soon enough, though, I will get back to it and pick up some hours. Don't get me wrong, if I could never work again and spend my life in a state of perpetual recreation, I would. In a nanosecond. But that is a silly thought, as neither myself or anyone that I know are independently wealthy to the point that I can glom on like a parasite and hitch a ride to happyland. I do want to get back to my normal life, at least for a while before I go and try to do something else. Hopefully, the next thing I try to do won't blow up in my face like the last time around.
I have learned that a person is required to make their own luck. If you aren't born with blessings from the heavens, you are normal. When you are normal, you have to press the issue to better yourself. When you press the issue, you end up blogging in a format that sounds like a DirecTV ad. I gotta stop this. Anyway, the moral of the story is that I tried to improve and failed. My failure in this instance is a devastating knee injury. Other methods of self awesomeering have worked out. School, for instance has been pretty sweet, but that ends in like 2 weeks, so I have to find the next thing.
Anyone got any ideas?
SD
I guess the important part is that the wound is healing well enough to take out the knots holding it together. Everything seems in order. The doc was happy with the progress that I and my physical therapist have made. Swelling is still pronounced but not horrible. I knew that was going to be the case anyway. 6 weeks out of surgery I can expect my leg to look normal again, which would be the middle of May.
The unlocked brace that I have allows me to walk with a bit more normalcy. I can bend my leg to the point where I can sit in the front seat of a car. Before this, I had to slide into the back and rest my locked leg along the length of the back seat. Nowadays I can ride in a car like a human, which is nice. Soon I will be able to drive, hopefully within the next couple of weeks, and get back to work.
Doing normal things, like getting back to work is what I look forward to the most. I like feeling like I am retired, but I get bored. What is there to do when you don't want to do anything? How do you fill the days? Thanks Netflix. I need income, as I have none now since the injury. Soon enough, though, I will get back to it and pick up some hours. Don't get me wrong, if I could never work again and spend my life in a state of perpetual recreation, I would. In a nanosecond. But that is a silly thought, as neither myself or anyone that I know are independently wealthy to the point that I can glom on like a parasite and hitch a ride to happyland. I do want to get back to my normal life, at least for a while before I go and try to do something else. Hopefully, the next thing I try to do won't blow up in my face like the last time around.
I have learned that a person is required to make their own luck. If you aren't born with blessings from the heavens, you are normal. When you are normal, you have to press the issue to better yourself. When you press the issue, you end up blogging in a format that sounds like a DirecTV ad. I gotta stop this. Anyway, the moral of the story is that I tried to improve and failed. My failure in this instance is a devastating knee injury. Other methods of self awesomeering have worked out. School, for instance has been pretty sweet, but that ends in like 2 weeks, so I have to find the next thing.
Anyone got any ideas?
SD
Friday, April 13, 2012
A little more intense
Physical therapy was actually physical today. Instead of prodding and small examinations, my therapist actually had my doing stuff. I got on a stationary bike and bent my knee as far as it would go. Not all that far, mind you, I couldn't make a full rotation of the wheel, but I went back and forth as much as I could for a few minutes. I tried to stretch it out, but it's still swollen a little, so I can't really bend.
I learned that after this kind of surgery, the quad muscles really take a beating. They are moved and manipulated in several ways, and therefore they take some time to recoup. Electronic stimulation pads were placed on my leg (not my nips) and jacked up to the point where my leg muscles twitched. While the electricity was coursing through my muscles, I was instructed to tighten them. I felt myself growing stronger. I am becoming super human. Soon I will be strong enough to kick a person through a building. Well, not quite yet, but soon.
I still have to maintain the exercises that were prescribed to me, but I expected that. They were easier to do yesterday than the day before. I wonder how much of that is recovery, or if my mind has just getting used to it and I THINK that is it easier. The other positive development is the unlocking of my brace. I have been allowed to walk---ish with the crutches bearing most of the wait for my right leg. I can put a little pressure on my foot, and move it in the same walking motion that normal people use, that I used to use, when I go from point a to point b. I can keep it off while I'm not doing anything, but if I have to go anywhere of any distance, like out of my apartment, I have to put the brace on. The brace moves on its hinge now, so the burden isn't as terrible. I still can't sit with my foot at a 90 degree angle, but the brace lets it bend. I was instructed to focus on bending the knee inside of the brace while "walking." I should be off the crutches soon and as I grow in confidence with my new fangled walking I should be okay with that.
As the therapy moves forward, I wil learn how much I can stand, in terms of pressure and pain. Bring it on. I want to get this over with, I think that I have made that clear. If that means having a rather intense therapy session, so be it. Each time in I get a little closer to 100%. I have to be diligent, though, and make certain that I do my exercises and pay attention to my therapist and my body.
One step at a time.
SD
I learned that after this kind of surgery, the quad muscles really take a beating. They are moved and manipulated in several ways, and therefore they take some time to recoup. Electronic stimulation pads were placed on my leg (not my nips) and jacked up to the point where my leg muscles twitched. While the electricity was coursing through my muscles, I was instructed to tighten them. I felt myself growing stronger. I am becoming super human. Soon I will be strong enough to kick a person through a building. Well, not quite yet, but soon.
I still have to maintain the exercises that were prescribed to me, but I expected that. They were easier to do yesterday than the day before. I wonder how much of that is recovery, or if my mind has just getting used to it and I THINK that is it easier. The other positive development is the unlocking of my brace. I have been allowed to walk---ish with the crutches bearing most of the wait for my right leg. I can put a little pressure on my foot, and move it in the same walking motion that normal people use, that I used to use, when I go from point a to point b. I can keep it off while I'm not doing anything, but if I have to go anywhere of any distance, like out of my apartment, I have to put the brace on. The brace moves on its hinge now, so the burden isn't as terrible. I still can't sit with my foot at a 90 degree angle, but the brace lets it bend. I was instructed to focus on bending the knee inside of the brace while "walking." I should be off the crutches soon and as I grow in confidence with my new fangled walking I should be okay with that.
As the therapy moves forward, I wil learn how much I can stand, in terms of pressure and pain. Bring it on. I want to get this over with, I think that I have made that clear. If that means having a rather intense therapy session, so be it. Each time in I get a little closer to 100%. I have to be diligent, though, and make certain that I do my exercises and pay attention to my therapist and my body.
One step at a time.
SD
Thursday, April 12, 2012
At least something is nearly complete....
I'm almost done with school. Finally. The four year plan that every high school graduate with collegiate desires dreams about turned into a 13 year exodus through a desert of poor decisions and misguided hope. Tuesday I wrote the final term paper of my elongated college career. I know that all I have to do is play out the stretch of the semester, working "my best" to participate in a class that is such a joke that it doesn't have a textbook. I still had to write a paper, though. Weak.
Now that my life in the academic sphere is over, I have to find a way to utilize the skills that a B.A. claims that I maintain. I don't know what these skills are, however. I think I learned some information about American History. Maybe something about the Earth. Maybe something about the Constitution. Maybe something about myself? I wonder where the degree will allow me access to. These things are, apparently, important. Door openers. Unfortunately for me, I have no tangible skills to offer people. I have been told that I can write a little, and I know how to analyze literature pretty well. But I hate kids so teaching is out the window. I guess I could continue my education and get a post grad degree or two. What's the point, though? Just to prove that I have nothing worth while to do with an undergrad degree? Hooray for even more crippling student loan debt.
The one thing that I am proud of is my success in school. I did pretty well. I'm not sure what exactly my GPA is right now, but it is over 3.5. Seeing as though I had a 1.8 after my first year, that's a pretty nice improvement. My first year, at Duquesne University in Pittsburgh, was a washout. I didn't focus on anything. I had a sweet gig at an NPR affiliate. Ruined that. Started to build a social network. Killed that off. Live and Learn, I guess. Satchel Paige once said "Don't look behind you. Something might be catching up." Words to live by. I do not regret the time I spent there. I learned a lot. Nothing academic, but a lot about what I should and shouldn't do.
After that, I spent a few years dicking about in the area. I lived like a rock star, or a hobo. There is a fine line between the two. I liked that life. But it was killing me on the inside. I wasn't going anywhere and I hung out with a lot of people that were in the same boat. Not all of them, but enough that I felt like I was wasting myself. So I changed myself around. I enrolled in school, Charter Oak State College, and started to prove myself to myself. I did well, built some momentum, and have continued to work hard to finish this damn degree up. 13 years later. I'll be done in May, but I'm not going to the grad ceremony. I don't want to. I don't care. I think that this is something that should have happened 9 years ago, at the end of my original attempt at college. Why should I celebrate something that I put off for so long? I fucked up for the better part of a decade, so I shouldn't be glorified. And besides, I simply don't care about a ceremony. I got the job done and that is the important part. Not going to the ceremony isn't going to impact the amount of work or the accomplishment after the completion of said work.
Now that school is almost done, the next goal is the re-awesomizing of my knee. That'll happen. It's just a matter of time.
SD
Now that my life in the academic sphere is over, I have to find a way to utilize the skills that a B.A. claims that I maintain. I don't know what these skills are, however. I think I learned some information about American History. Maybe something about the Earth. Maybe something about the Constitution. Maybe something about myself? I wonder where the degree will allow me access to. These things are, apparently, important. Door openers. Unfortunately for me, I have no tangible skills to offer people. I have been told that I can write a little, and I know how to analyze literature pretty well. But I hate kids so teaching is out the window. I guess I could continue my education and get a post grad degree or two. What's the point, though? Just to prove that I have nothing worth while to do with an undergrad degree? Hooray for even more crippling student loan debt.
The one thing that I am proud of is my success in school. I did pretty well. I'm not sure what exactly my GPA is right now, but it is over 3.5. Seeing as though I had a 1.8 after my first year, that's a pretty nice improvement. My first year, at Duquesne University in Pittsburgh, was a washout. I didn't focus on anything. I had a sweet gig at an NPR affiliate. Ruined that. Started to build a social network. Killed that off. Live and Learn, I guess. Satchel Paige once said "Don't look behind you. Something might be catching up." Words to live by. I do not regret the time I spent there. I learned a lot. Nothing academic, but a lot about what I should and shouldn't do.
After that, I spent a few years dicking about in the area. I lived like a rock star, or a hobo. There is a fine line between the two. I liked that life. But it was killing me on the inside. I wasn't going anywhere and I hung out with a lot of people that were in the same boat. Not all of them, but enough that I felt like I was wasting myself. So I changed myself around. I enrolled in school, Charter Oak State College, and started to prove myself to myself. I did well, built some momentum, and have continued to work hard to finish this damn degree up. 13 years later. I'll be done in May, but I'm not going to the grad ceremony. I don't want to. I don't care. I think that this is something that should have happened 9 years ago, at the end of my original attempt at college. Why should I celebrate something that I put off for so long? I fucked up for the better part of a decade, so I shouldn't be glorified. And besides, I simply don't care about a ceremony. I got the job done and that is the important part. Not going to the ceremony isn't going to impact the amount of work or the accomplishment after the completion of said work.
Now that school is almost done, the next goal is the re-awesomizing of my knee. That'll happen. It's just a matter of time.
SD
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Off to a good start
First day of physical therapy seemed to be successful. I still have to be on the crutches for a while, but there is good news. I can "walk" with them as support. I essentially have to retrain my feet how to work in unison to make myself more ambulatory than I currently am. Granted, I am not putting that much pressure on the bum leg, less than 50% if I were to guess. I support that leg within the walking motion with the crutches. The fact of the matter is that I am starting to ween myself, with the help of the therapist, off of aided walking and onto a more normal movement pattern. My quality of life will increase incrementally as the therapy sessions move forward and I will be permitted to do more and more things like a normal person can. This is good.
Six weeks of PT doesn't seem like all that much, of course, that opinion could change soon depending on the level of success I see. Luckily I knew the therapist previously to this experience, so I think I am in good shape. Twice a week I have to go. Tuesdays and Thursdays until the middle of May. One down, eleven to go. I get homework through PT. Various stretching and slow movement tasks to be performed throughout the day. Isolating movements in my quadriceps in order to strengthen that region to support my weight as I try to walk normally seems to be the focus thus far. I haven't gotten any new apparatus with which therapy will be aided, I just have to use a belt or some other strap to aid in lifting the injured limb to a vertical position whilst laying on my back. That should be fun.
I got a worksheet with diagrams on it. On a couple of the pictures the illustrated man seems to have a very morose look on his face. This is not uplifting. His head, buried in his arms as he lays face down, is cradled like a child's mid tantrum. In another, the imagined effort being exerted to contort his body into some Jane Fonda-esque pose seems to be so great that all he can do is stare blankly and accept this torture. He grimaces with agony as he pulls back on his leg, stretching a group of muscles that obviously has no desire to be stretched. The man lays on his back, leg bent with the knee aiming for his chest, grasping at the back of the joint like there is a bullet lodged in there. This is not an inviting worksheet.
My cold pressure cuff is leaving me next week. I will no longer have the tube and velcro attachment wrapped around my leg for hours at a time. Can't wait. That thing is becoming a burden. Wires and connections are taking up too much floor space, getting in the way of any transportation that I might want to do in the space between my desk and bed. Not a lot of territory to be covered, mind you, but a lack of hazards is beneficial. So that means that, within the next week or so, I will be off the machine, weened down with the crutches, and looking to get out of the brace, or at least get into one that moves. Progress seems to be happening.
SD
Six weeks of PT doesn't seem like all that much, of course, that opinion could change soon depending on the level of success I see. Luckily I knew the therapist previously to this experience, so I think I am in good shape. Twice a week I have to go. Tuesdays and Thursdays until the middle of May. One down, eleven to go. I get homework through PT. Various stretching and slow movement tasks to be performed throughout the day. Isolating movements in my quadriceps in order to strengthen that region to support my weight as I try to walk normally seems to be the focus thus far. I haven't gotten any new apparatus with which therapy will be aided, I just have to use a belt or some other strap to aid in lifting the injured limb to a vertical position whilst laying on my back. That should be fun.
I got a worksheet with diagrams on it. On a couple of the pictures the illustrated man seems to have a very morose look on his face. This is not uplifting. His head, buried in his arms as he lays face down, is cradled like a child's mid tantrum. In another, the imagined effort being exerted to contort his body into some Jane Fonda-esque pose seems to be so great that all he can do is stare blankly and accept this torture. He grimaces with agony as he pulls back on his leg, stretching a group of muscles that obviously has no desire to be stretched. The man lays on his back, leg bent with the knee aiming for his chest, grasping at the back of the joint like there is a bullet lodged in there. This is not an inviting worksheet.
My cold pressure cuff is leaving me next week. I will no longer have the tube and velcro attachment wrapped around my leg for hours at a time. Can't wait. That thing is becoming a burden. Wires and connections are taking up too much floor space, getting in the way of any transportation that I might want to do in the space between my desk and bed. Not a lot of territory to be covered, mind you, but a lack of hazards is beneficial. So that means that, within the next week or so, I will be off the machine, weened down with the crutches, and looking to get out of the brace, or at least get into one that moves. Progress seems to be happening.
SD
Monday, April 9, 2012
Post Op
I still got these goddamn stitches in my leg. I thought I was going to get them out this morning and as it turns out, that thought was incorrect. They get to be attached to my flesh for another week. This is the first time that I have every had stitches, so I guess that I shouldn't be surprised at their lifetime. I have nothing to compare it to.
They look weird. I can't even describe it But I'm going to try. Because I'm a dick like that. Where the scope is a stitch at each point. It looks like two little antennae are poking out at each incision point. The actual incision point, where the bulk of the cutting happened, has a series of stitches, 6 in all. They are in a line, and no, the doc didn't pull something funny and stitch his initials into my skin. I find that I am both happy about that but a little dissappointed at the same time. While I don't want to have a tag of ownership permanently scarred onto my leg, it would make for a good story. Oh well.
The actual wound now looks like spongy mountain range. There are peaks and valleys, and a slope of dried blood crust on the Southern slope. It's a blood avalanche. Which is now in the top three metal band names ever (with God Hammer and Murder Church). The remaining wound bits look like a cross between the crimped edge of a calzone and the tied up part of a roast. But all pasty white. Like, really really white. I also have these blue dots in the knee region. The dots are a map for the doc to show him where things are in my leg. A inter human landscape that helps him guide the machines and whatnot through the surgery. Each dot is a landmark in the joint. That's neat, I guess. I would try to figure out what is what if I weren't still swollen like a beachball down there.
The disappointment of my lack of stitches was tempered by the removal of the huge Ace wrap that went from my foot to my thigh. It has been replaced by a smaller one that is just around my knee. I have to keep the ridiculous brace on for another week or so, but not all the time. When sleeping, moving about, yeah, I have to keep it on. But other than that, as long as I am careful with my leg, I don't have to have it on. I got signed up for physical therapy. I have to get in contact with them to set up a time. I only have to go twice a week for the next six weeks. And then it's over, end of PT. Seems pretty quick, but that's cool. Everything seems to happen slowly, so a quickening might be welcome.
PT is going to be through the hospital, which is nice, at least they are going to be professional. The crappy part is that I can't drive there. They aren't going to let me have the keys for at least a month. I feel like I go a DUI. I guess I get to be out of the brace and off the crutches in another week or two, depending on PT and how my knee responds to the surgery. That being said, the surgery was boring. That is the best thing I heard all day. You want to have a boring surgery. You don't want it to be an eventful situation for the doc. When you are out, nothing odd happens, and the doc reports a pedestrian procedure, that is the best thing ever. You want to have nothing special about your business.
The beginning of the end of this ordeal is starting. Look forward, as the monsters are behind you.
SD
They look weird. I can't even describe it But I'm going to try. Because I'm a dick like that. Where the scope is a stitch at each point. It looks like two little antennae are poking out at each incision point. The actual incision point, where the bulk of the cutting happened, has a series of stitches, 6 in all. They are in a line, and no, the doc didn't pull something funny and stitch his initials into my skin. I find that I am both happy about that but a little dissappointed at the same time. While I don't want to have a tag of ownership permanently scarred onto my leg, it would make for a good story. Oh well.
The actual wound now looks like spongy mountain range. There are peaks and valleys, and a slope of dried blood crust on the Southern slope. It's a blood avalanche. Which is now in the top three metal band names ever (with God Hammer and Murder Church). The remaining wound bits look like a cross between the crimped edge of a calzone and the tied up part of a roast. But all pasty white. Like, really really white. I also have these blue dots in the knee region. The dots are a map for the doc to show him where things are in my leg. A inter human landscape that helps him guide the machines and whatnot through the surgery. Each dot is a landmark in the joint. That's neat, I guess. I would try to figure out what is what if I weren't still swollen like a beachball down there.
The disappointment of my lack of stitches was tempered by the removal of the huge Ace wrap that went from my foot to my thigh. It has been replaced by a smaller one that is just around my knee. I have to keep the ridiculous brace on for another week or so, but not all the time. When sleeping, moving about, yeah, I have to keep it on. But other than that, as long as I am careful with my leg, I don't have to have it on. I got signed up for physical therapy. I have to get in contact with them to set up a time. I only have to go twice a week for the next six weeks. And then it's over, end of PT. Seems pretty quick, but that's cool. Everything seems to happen slowly, so a quickening might be welcome.
PT is going to be through the hospital, which is nice, at least they are going to be professional. The crappy part is that I can't drive there. They aren't going to let me have the keys for at least a month. I feel like I go a DUI. I guess I get to be out of the brace and off the crutches in another week or two, depending on PT and how my knee responds to the surgery. That being said, the surgery was boring. That is the best thing I heard all day. You want to have a boring surgery. You don't want it to be an eventful situation for the doc. When you are out, nothing odd happens, and the doc reports a pedestrian procedure, that is the best thing ever. You want to have nothing special about your business.
The beginning of the end of this ordeal is starting. Look forward, as the monsters are behind you.
SD
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Easter
Today is Easter. Yay. Honestly, I don't care for the holiday part of it. It happens every year, and every year, I care less and less about eggs, bunnies, or that retarded grass stuff that fills baskets. But I like getting together with the family. This is usually fun. There is always going to be someone who is a pompous dick, but that is a family, so who really cares.
This year, everyone has some issue, and there was the undertones of a pissing contest. I win. I have problems with stairs, and doors, and moving. I had to go with all of my leggy accoutrement on display. Brace, cold pressure cuff, ace wrap, crutches, the whole nine. And after the original shock of seeing me, and trying to make me comfortable, everything returned to normal. I explained my current status a few times and there were both sympathy and mocking. And it was good.
I generally don't like to be doted over. I like being able to fend for myself and get what I want when I want it. I was fairly uncomfortable for a while, not physically, but situationally. I didn't want people to make a special effort for me, but I had to give in. There was so much food (aw damn) that it had to be set up in a buffet. I had to have my aunt make a plate for me while I sat with my leg in another's personal bubble. Remember, it doesn't bend yet.
The thing about family? They don't care. They don't care if you are hobbled, crippled, whatever. You are going to get some shit for it, but generally, they know the deal. Everyone has had something stupid happen to them along the line, so they have all been there. After the initial reaction, war stories are shared. After dinner, we all sat around, fat on ham, lamb, and other sundry foods, and watched golf on tv. It was comfortable.
I was hesitant to go to Easter dinner. I didn't want to feel like a party favor. I didn't feel like a party favor. I felt like a member of a family. Yes, the stairs were a hazard, but throw rugs are a hazard for me now, so I guess I just have to deal with it. I managed okay. I'm back in my recovery zone, plugged into my machine. No harm done. I don't know what the hell I was worried about. Who cares if I'm on crutches, I just have to make sure that I don't shrivel away.
Everything is going to work out. I just have to remember to take it one step at a time. I have to resist the urge to push ahead beyond where I should be. This isn't an English class, extra credit work is useless in this situation. Getting out today was a step in the positive direction. I know in my head that my progress is going to be slow and aggravating, and I know that I am going to get antsy. I have to remember that small things, like Easter, are going to get me forward faster that the large leap.
Simple steps.
SD
This year, everyone has some issue, and there was the undertones of a pissing contest. I win. I have problems with stairs, and doors, and moving. I had to go with all of my leggy accoutrement on display. Brace, cold pressure cuff, ace wrap, crutches, the whole nine. And after the original shock of seeing me, and trying to make me comfortable, everything returned to normal. I explained my current status a few times and there were both sympathy and mocking. And it was good.
I generally don't like to be doted over. I like being able to fend for myself and get what I want when I want it. I was fairly uncomfortable for a while, not physically, but situationally. I didn't want people to make a special effort for me, but I had to give in. There was so much food (aw damn) that it had to be set up in a buffet. I had to have my aunt make a plate for me while I sat with my leg in another's personal bubble. Remember, it doesn't bend yet.
The thing about family? They don't care. They don't care if you are hobbled, crippled, whatever. You are going to get some shit for it, but generally, they know the deal. Everyone has had something stupid happen to them along the line, so they have all been there. After the initial reaction, war stories are shared. After dinner, we all sat around, fat on ham, lamb, and other sundry foods, and watched golf on tv. It was comfortable.
I was hesitant to go to Easter dinner. I didn't want to feel like a party favor. I didn't feel like a party favor. I felt like a member of a family. Yes, the stairs were a hazard, but throw rugs are a hazard for me now, so I guess I just have to deal with it. I managed okay. I'm back in my recovery zone, plugged into my machine. No harm done. I don't know what the hell I was worried about. Who cares if I'm on crutches, I just have to make sure that I don't shrivel away.
Everything is going to work out. I just have to remember to take it one step at a time. I have to resist the urge to push ahead beyond where I should be. This isn't an English class, extra credit work is useless in this situation. Getting out today was a step in the positive direction. I know in my head that my progress is going to be slow and aggravating, and I know that I am going to get antsy. I have to remember that small things, like Easter, are going to get me forward faster that the large leap.
Simple steps.
SD
Friday, April 6, 2012
Week/Weak
So it has been a week since the surgery. Everything seems to still be there, but there are still some things that I would like to be able to do before I consider myself operational (hehe) again.
I can take the brace off now and flex my leg, try to move it back and forth a bit. This task is simple, but it is going to take a while before I have a comfortable range of motion. On Monday I have an appointment to get the ace wrap taken off and, I would assume, the brick of gauze as well. At that point, I will get my first viewing of the hot mess that my knee has become. Perhaps the stitches come out as well, perhaps not, that prospect is pretty vague. I got a call yesterday that confirmed the appointment, and the lady suggested that there might be staples instead of stitches. I found that amusing.
I don't know what the wound is going to look like. I am hoping that the doctor decided not to be a funny guy and sew his initials into my leg or some other silly shit like that. It would make for a good story though. In the week after the procedure, I have found that the days are going by faster. I am able to entertain myself enough to pass the hours. Opening day for baseball hasn't hurt, either.
I have been writing for The Scope, which has been fun. Everything is light and made up, so I can work on that whenever I want. This blog has helped, although sometimes I feel as though I need motivation to write here. Then again, I can get to rambling, so time passes with that too.
The one thing that I can't wait to do is get this contraption off of me. I hate it. It's bulky, heavy, awkward, and even though I completely understand the function of it, I think that it is a bit over the top. On Monday, I think that the doc will give me a definitive schedule for therapy and eventual removal of the brace. I want to walk again without crutches or a brace, but that is going to be some time.
The more immediate goal is to be able to take a shower that doesn't involve a sink. I have to keep the ace wrap and gauze brick on 24/7 and they can't get wet, so that means I have had to clean myself in the sink instead of take an actual shower. The day that changes will be welcome. It's not that I am not cleaning myself, there is simply a difference between bathing in a sink and actually taking a real shower. I never understood how much a meant, on a psychological level, until now.
What is killing me right now is that I don't think that I am going to be able to participate in Easter. I think that this brace, the lack of ability to get pants over it, and the intermittent cold therapy is going to keep me house ridden for a few more days, until my appointment.
I can't be too mad, I did this to myself.
SD
I can take the brace off now and flex my leg, try to move it back and forth a bit. This task is simple, but it is going to take a while before I have a comfortable range of motion. On Monday I have an appointment to get the ace wrap taken off and, I would assume, the brick of gauze as well. At that point, I will get my first viewing of the hot mess that my knee has become. Perhaps the stitches come out as well, perhaps not, that prospect is pretty vague. I got a call yesterday that confirmed the appointment, and the lady suggested that there might be staples instead of stitches. I found that amusing.
I don't know what the wound is going to look like. I am hoping that the doctor decided not to be a funny guy and sew his initials into my leg or some other silly shit like that. It would make for a good story though. In the week after the procedure, I have found that the days are going by faster. I am able to entertain myself enough to pass the hours. Opening day for baseball hasn't hurt, either.
I have been writing for The Scope, which has been fun. Everything is light and made up, so I can work on that whenever I want. This blog has helped, although sometimes I feel as though I need motivation to write here. Then again, I can get to rambling, so time passes with that too.
The one thing that I can't wait to do is get this contraption off of me. I hate it. It's bulky, heavy, awkward, and even though I completely understand the function of it, I think that it is a bit over the top. On Monday, I think that the doc will give me a definitive schedule for therapy and eventual removal of the brace. I want to walk again without crutches or a brace, but that is going to be some time.
The more immediate goal is to be able to take a shower that doesn't involve a sink. I have to keep the ace wrap and gauze brick on 24/7 and they can't get wet, so that means I have had to clean myself in the sink instead of take an actual shower. The day that changes will be welcome. It's not that I am not cleaning myself, there is simply a difference between bathing in a sink and actually taking a real shower. I never understood how much a meant, on a psychological level, until now.
What is killing me right now is that I don't think that I am going to be able to participate in Easter. I think that this brace, the lack of ability to get pants over it, and the intermittent cold therapy is going to keep me house ridden for a few more days, until my appointment.
I can't be too mad, I did this to myself.
SD
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Douchebag Supernova
As we all know by this point, my schedule is merely a pipe dream. Any focus to my day is a fantasy concurrent of a once real notion of hours and time. I live as a cat. A sweaty, disabled cat with cable and an internet connection. One of my goals throughout this ordeal is to find productive ways to spend my time. In that respect, I sleep more than I ever have, get some reading in, and try to keep my working limbs stretched out and in shape. I watch Sportscenter in the morning, Netflix for some portion of the day, and do my best to keep on a cold therapy regimen for the knee.
But sometimes at night, I have trouble actually getting to sleep. Last night was one of those nights. I was mentally ready to go to sleep after The Colbert Report, but my body was still ready to be awake. I flipped through the channels, and not wanting to see more women's basketball on ESPN, I kept going up the channels. I found something interesting. Something so appropriate that I was forced by morbid curiosity and bemused boredom to land on VH1.
VH1 used to be a music channel, and when they played music, they had a show called Pop-Up Video, where they would insert silly bubbles with factoids in them about the band or the video being shown. VH1 was purchased by MTV, and has subsequently been converted into MTV for Dummies and people who care about Ice-T's wife. MTV has become famous for showing a long run of programs surrounding the made up lives of strangers forced to live together in the raddest and best lit house on Earth. From the embryo of The Real World was birthed the apex of everything tanned and douchey: The Jersey Shore.
The Jersey Shore is a whirlwind of loud, obnoxious, steroid fueled, indignity that represents everything that is wrong with this country. The terrorists will never win so long as these people are still alive. They, as a whole, are a bounty for ridicule and jokes. They, as a whole, suck as humans. They, as a whole, have nary a positive fiber in the entirety of their souls. They, as a whole, are a skin and blood curdling reminder of why people hate. In general. People hate because of the cast of The Jersey Shore.
Why do I bring all of this up? I shall tell you.
Late last night I was sitting up and I saw the perfect confluence of silliness and scumbaggery. I stared at the channel guide in wonderment as the greatest hour of time wasting the world has ever afforded a human being. Pop-Up Jersey Shore might have changed my life. An assault on the eyes and ears, Pop-Up Jersey Shore is a one stop shop for everything inane or covered in horrid tattoos. From learning about how the show is set up logistically or what some cast member might or might not have pierced, I stumbled upon the greatest piece of televised synergy in the history of the medium.
For two hours, two full episodes, I watched. I was drawn in by the bubbles, entertained by the idiocy of the people, and felt a vested rooting interest in the citizens whom the cast got into fistfights with. I stared at my television, mouth agape, while 7 morons with no real sense or literacy level caroused along Seaside Heights New Jersey for the duration of a summer. I felt my cerebral cortex shrink and my still beating heart yearn for a quick end as these people forced me to long for the end of commercials to witness more of their failings.
Rarely have I seen more shirtless men or whored up whores yelling at each other with such abandon. They had no regard for their unique situation, instead, they seemed to want to use the occasion as an attempted springboard for a post Shore career. One member started a clothing company, but on her first t-shirt (of many, I'm sure) she misspelled the word Filthy. Apparently the word has more of an impact when the L comes after the H. I, for one, am proud of my spelling ability, and understand the function of the spell checker function on word processing programs. J-Woww apparently doesn't. Not my problem, but an example of their genius. They have become famous for this crap. Purely inspirational is the cast, as they have overcome severe learning disabilities to become rich and famous. And an equal appreciation to VH1 has to be given for the stroke of brilliance to put pop up bubbles in their midst.
I hate the fact that this program block has taken up so much of my time. Not only watching it, but writing about it later. It has eaten away at me like a spirit eating bacteria, sucking my will to think out of the festering wound on my leg. I do not regret it, I can't. I find that regret is counterproductive. But, so is watching Pop-Up Jersey Shore.
SD
But sometimes at night, I have trouble actually getting to sleep. Last night was one of those nights. I was mentally ready to go to sleep after The Colbert Report, but my body was still ready to be awake. I flipped through the channels, and not wanting to see more women's basketball on ESPN, I kept going up the channels. I found something interesting. Something so appropriate that I was forced by morbid curiosity and bemused boredom to land on VH1.
VH1 used to be a music channel, and when they played music, they had a show called Pop-Up Video, where they would insert silly bubbles with factoids in them about the band or the video being shown. VH1 was purchased by MTV, and has subsequently been converted into MTV for Dummies and people who care about Ice-T's wife. MTV has become famous for showing a long run of programs surrounding the made up lives of strangers forced to live together in the raddest and best lit house on Earth. From the embryo of The Real World was birthed the apex of everything tanned and douchey: The Jersey Shore.
The Jersey Shore is a whirlwind of loud, obnoxious, steroid fueled, indignity that represents everything that is wrong with this country. The terrorists will never win so long as these people are still alive. They, as a whole, are a bounty for ridicule and jokes. They, as a whole, suck as humans. They, as a whole, have nary a positive fiber in the entirety of their souls. They, as a whole, are a skin and blood curdling reminder of why people hate. In general. People hate because of the cast of The Jersey Shore.
Why do I bring all of this up? I shall tell you.
Late last night I was sitting up and I saw the perfect confluence of silliness and scumbaggery. I stared at the channel guide in wonderment as the greatest hour of time wasting the world has ever afforded a human being. Pop-Up Jersey Shore might have changed my life. An assault on the eyes and ears, Pop-Up Jersey Shore is a one stop shop for everything inane or covered in horrid tattoos. From learning about how the show is set up logistically or what some cast member might or might not have pierced, I stumbled upon the greatest piece of televised synergy in the history of the medium.
For two hours, two full episodes, I watched. I was drawn in by the bubbles, entertained by the idiocy of the people, and felt a vested rooting interest in the citizens whom the cast got into fistfights with. I stared at my television, mouth agape, while 7 morons with no real sense or literacy level caroused along Seaside Heights New Jersey for the duration of a summer. I felt my cerebral cortex shrink and my still beating heart yearn for a quick end as these people forced me to long for the end of commercials to witness more of their failings.
Rarely have I seen more shirtless men or whored up whores yelling at each other with such abandon. They had no regard for their unique situation, instead, they seemed to want to use the occasion as an attempted springboard for a post Shore career. One member started a clothing company, but on her first t-shirt (of many, I'm sure) she misspelled the word Filthy. Apparently the word has more of an impact when the L comes after the H. I, for one, am proud of my spelling ability, and understand the function of the spell checker function on word processing programs. J-Woww apparently doesn't. Not my problem, but an example of their genius. They have become famous for this crap. Purely inspirational is the cast, as they have overcome severe learning disabilities to become rich and famous. And an equal appreciation to VH1 has to be given for the stroke of brilliance to put pop up bubbles in their midst.
I hate the fact that this program block has taken up so much of my time. Not only watching it, but writing about it later. It has eaten away at me like a spirit eating bacteria, sucking my will to think out of the festering wound on my leg. I do not regret it, I can't. I find that regret is counterproductive. But, so is watching Pop-Up Jersey Shore.
SD
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Sweating like a fat kid
Dear God! I need to figure out how to stop sweating. My entire life is damp. No matter what I do, damp damp damp. I'm pretty sure this is completely the responsibility of pain pills and a reaction to the lack of morphine in my system. I'm like a junkie. I have to stay hydrated, but it just makes me damp, as I immediately sweat it out. I sprung a leak. I don't know where yet, but it's there somewhere.
I feel gross all the time.
SD
I feel gross all the time.
SD
Monday, April 2, 2012
Awake? pt 2. The bruising
I got some serious IV time in while I was at the hospital. Now I have this crazy ass bruise on my hand that covers the base knuckles on my pinky and ring fingers and half of my middle finger. It's about the size of a Saltine, but its really dark. The puncture wound is outside of the bruised part, and it makes my knuckles really white
This isn't a big deal, its just something that has been fixating me for the last few days.
SD
This isn't a big deal, its just something that has been fixating me for the last few days.
SD
Awake?
Small victories are going to keep me going. I was able to change clothes yesterday and actually wash myself today. It doesn't seem like those acts should be that big of a deal, however, when you have to keep your entire leg dry and immobile, they become more important. I can't seem to stop sweating though, but I am sure that the work that my body is putting into healing, not to mention the heavy wrap and brace on my leg, is making me perspire a lot more than I rightfully should.
I was able to get to my desktop computer, which is where I am writing this from, and get close enough to actually use the keyboard. Small victories. Now I have to get back into a school mode. Apparently I have a 15 page paper due soon, and now I am rather behind on that. My professor is cool, though, so I should be able to get some leniency.
I have been in and out of states of awareness over the last few days. They stuck a morphine drip into the front of my hip and that was doing a number on my sleep patterns. That ran out yesterday, though, and I had to take it out. To keep it in place, the nurses, in their infinite wisdom, locked the drip in place with enough tape to keep an engine together. They shaved that particular area, but the tape eluded the borders of the shaved zone and stuck itself to the normal skin/hair/whatever. Not fun.
Now I am awake. Now I am on a fairly regular schedule for drugs and cold compression therapy. Now I have to deal with the crushing boredom that comes with this particular territory. I am trying to avoid the hardcore pain killers as much as I can, but this thing hurts, and the bulkiness of the wrap is annoying. To ease my life, especially when going to sleep, I wonder how a Percocet will work for me. I am wary though, as I know how much I liked them a few years ago, and I think that I will like them just the same now.
I guess I will sit here and sweat.
SD
I was able to get to my desktop computer, which is where I am writing this from, and get close enough to actually use the keyboard. Small victories. Now I have to get back into a school mode. Apparently I have a 15 page paper due soon, and now I am rather behind on that. My professor is cool, though, so I should be able to get some leniency.
I have been in and out of states of awareness over the last few days. They stuck a morphine drip into the front of my hip and that was doing a number on my sleep patterns. That ran out yesterday, though, and I had to take it out. To keep it in place, the nurses, in their infinite wisdom, locked the drip in place with enough tape to keep an engine together. They shaved that particular area, but the tape eluded the borders of the shaved zone and stuck itself to the normal skin/hair/whatever. Not fun.
Now I am awake. Now I am on a fairly regular schedule for drugs and cold compression therapy. Now I have to deal with the crushing boredom that comes with this particular territory. I am trying to avoid the hardcore pain killers as much as I can, but this thing hurts, and the bulkiness of the wrap is annoying. To ease my life, especially when going to sleep, I wonder how a Percocet will work for me. I am wary though, as I know how much I liked them a few years ago, and I think that I will like them just the same now.
I guess I will sit here and sweat.
SD
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)