Easter

Today is Easter.  Yay.  Honestly, I don't care for the holiday part of it.  It happens every year, and every year, I care less and less about eggs, bunnies, or that retarded grass stuff that fills baskets.  But I like getting together with the family.  This is usually fun.  There is always going to be someone who is a pompous dick, but that is a family, so who really cares. 

This year, everyone has some issue, and there was the undertones of a pissing contest.  I win.  I have problems with stairs, and doors, and moving.  I had to go with all of my leggy accoutrement on display.  Brace, cold pressure cuff, ace wrap, crutches, the whole nine.  And after the original shock of seeing me, and trying to make me comfortable, everything returned to normal.  I explained my current status a few times and there were both sympathy and mocking.  And it was good.

I generally don't like to be doted over.  I like being able to fend for myself and get what I want when I want it.  I was fairly uncomfortable for a while, not physically, but situationally.  I didn't want people to make a special effort for me, but I had to give in.  There was so much food (aw damn) that it had to be set up in a buffet.  I had to have my aunt make a plate for me while I sat with my leg in another's personal bubble.  Remember, it doesn't bend yet. 

The thing about family? They don't care.  They don't care if you are hobbled, crippled, whatever.  You are going to get some shit for it, but generally, they know the deal.  Everyone has had something stupid happen to them along the line, so they have all been there.  After the initial reaction, war stories are shared.  After dinner, we all sat around, fat on ham, lamb, and other sundry foods, and watched golf on tv.  It was comfortable. 

I was hesitant to go to Easter dinner.  I didn't want to feel like a party favor.  I didn't feel like a party favor.  I felt like a member of a family.  Yes, the stairs were a hazard, but throw rugs are a hazard for me now, so I guess I just have to deal with it.  I managed okay.  I'm back in my recovery zone, plugged into my machine.  No harm done.  I don't know what the hell I was worried about.  Who cares if I'm on crutches, I just have to make sure that I don't shrivel away. 

Everything is going to work out.  I just have to remember to take it one step at a time.  I have to resist the urge to push ahead beyond where I should be.  This isn't an English class, extra credit work is useless in this situation.  Getting out today was a step in the positive direction.  I know in my head that my progress is going to be slow and aggravating, and I know that I am going to get antsy.  I have to remember that small things, like Easter, are going to get me forward faster that the large leap.

Simple steps.

SD